Category Archives: kids

Not musical

If I ever have to torture anyone – for, you know, information, or whatever – I plan to buy a really crappy old piano and lock my subject in a small room while it’s bashed back into tune. Seriously, I … Continue reading

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Softball Mom, SUV plus pom-poms

When my seven-year-old begged me to be allowed to play softball, I naively thought that this would be much like any kids extra-curricular sporting activity. I’ll spend a couple of afternoons a week driving her to and from practice. There … Continue reading

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Damned kids

Warning: I am about to make light of a serious issue. After school yesterday, my six-year-old told me she’d had a talk with a fellow first-grader during recess. Her friend told her that she wouldn’t have a very nice life because … Continue reading

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Poor Expectations

Recently, the kids’ dentist told me I should write a book on raising children. I’m fairly certain he wasn’t being sarcastic. This, coming from the great state of Texas, is an example of what I like to think of as the … Continue reading

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Sh*t Boys Say

Strapping a couple of five-year-old boys down in an enclosed space is as fascinating an experiment as you could hope for. Including the ones I remember fondly from 5th Form Chemistry which ended with the partial loss of eyebrows or … Continue reading

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There’s nothing in the world as exciting as a cardboard box

…except maybe someone handing you the keys to a brand-new Ferrari idling on the start line of the Nürburgring and inviting you to go crazy. Or perhaps a chance meeting with your favourite celebrity in which he/she tags a photo … Continue reading

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Over and out

Spring Break evenings at the beach have been going something like this: Give one walkie-talkie to group of small children. Remember to keep the other. Negotiate order and precise length of turns with the walkie-talkie. Reassure children that they will … Continue reading

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I think I’m becoming Americanized. (See, I even spelt it with a zee?) Don’t worry, I haven’t gone and bought me a gun. I haven’t switched to iced tea instead of PG Tips (a much more horrifying scenario). I haven’t … Continue reading

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Tea and repression

Today, Éila invited a friend from school to play. Aw, sweet. Except, she invited herself and her schoolfriend into someone else’s house. Awkward. I ended up chatting with my good friend in her kitchen while her daughter, my daughter and … Continue reading

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Picture (im)perfect

Éila has developed an unsightly and contagious skin condition this week, which means it must be time for school photos. Last time we had an appointment at a photo studio, Cian showed up sporting a lovely grazed nose. It could … Continue reading

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