…except maybe someone handing you the keys to a brand-new Ferrari idling on the start line of the Nürburgring and inviting you to go crazy.
Or perhaps a chance meeting with your favourite celebrity in which he/she tags a photo of you together on Facebook and promises to look you up next time they’re in town.
Or – yes, if you’re going to be really pedantic, there are plenty of things more exciting than a cardboard box. But I stand behind my attention-grabbing, if less than strictly accurate headline.
Thanks to some enthusiastic but badly-timed online shopping this week, I find myself with an excess of cardboard boxes. The UPS truck pulled up with my delivery just as the recycling truck disappeared in the distance, not to be seen again for two weeks. That’s worthy of an Alanis Morissette song, right there.
Once I swallowed the urge to stand in the middle of the street and shake my fist at the receding bin lorry or fall to my knees on the front doorstep shouting “Curse you, Amazon!”, I gave the correct British response of a small headshake and an “oh-well” expression, and stacked the empty boxes neatly by the back door.
At kid home-time, the area was transformed into an ocean afloat with remarkably unseaworthy-looking rectangular, brown ships.
The following morning, I walked in to find one child wedging itself, with the help of its sibling, into an unsettlingly realistic – although brown – coffin.
That afternoon, scissors and crayons were engaged in the construction of set, signage, props and costume for a play, to be staged this weekend. The central characters will be a (rectangular, mostly-brown) R2D2 and Princess Leia, who will carry a (two-dimensional, brown) lightsabre. The action will take place on a (small, brown) bridge, the audience will be directed to their seats by (brown) signs and handed (brown) programmes. See? Hours of excitement. And never mind the kids: if I could get a big enough box I would totally make myself a little house, stock it with cushions and junk food and refuse to come out for a whole weekend. Hmmm. I wonder what’s the largest thing Amazon delivers…